Today I went on the hill near the school. On about the top of the little h-ill, I thought of a problem over and over again. It's always my GPA that annoys me. I know that clearly in some way, but I just find it hard to fac-e to it. It is truly difficult to face to it.
Last night the depression called on me again. I cried over and over and it didn't seem to have an end. Bad thoughts continued to come up in my mind and I could hardly keep them from going to the wrong side. S-o after dealing with my tears and snot, which really took some of my ti-ssue, I tried hard to fall asleep and finally made it, with the b-elief that all would be fine tomorrow.
It is real that my symptom is relieved slightly after a night's rest, howe-ver, the cruel fact is that problem can hardly be solved through a sle-ep.
I am till the lonely, wierd, lagging-behind-on-grades me.
But totally I hate cheating. Though I did against my thought to win aslightly higher grade. I don't like my acting this way. Again, something has to be changed.
I want to study what I really love with enthusiasm. I want to live a meaningful life. I want to live the way I like. I want to have a career that I am proud of. I want to visit Scandivania, talk with the local people and see if I can live there. I want to live there for a period of time.
I want to be me.
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